11:58 p.m. - 2004-10-21
Tomorrow is the day....
First...let me say that for dinner, I made the most delicious filet mignons (2) with fresh string beans (steamed) and corn on the cob with a cucumber and tomato salad. Met Foods has the bestest meats...damn near butcher quality.
As for tomorrow...this is it. It is the day.
I've had my letter ready. I wrote it a year ago.
It hasn't sunken in yet. I keep thinking that I'll be unemployed. I won't. I will be a full time business owner.
I had more second thoughts today, as I was eating lunch at one of my favorite Japanese restaurants.
The seating is tight, so I was sat next to 2 women, both of whom work at FUP...in the newsroom. We chatted briefly, and I was listening in on part of the conversation about how they were looking for new editors. I started to think that maybe I should have inquired about a newsroom job when I began to get antsy...oh...over 10 years ago. But there is such a separation of my department and the newsroom that it's scary.
Fuck.
After 15.5 years, I know I will be leaving this job in the manner that I did my last one...with box in hand, plant protruding out. I have a bamboo on my desk, although I have not named it. My plant that I had in the city was named "Alex" and it enjoyed a long life after I gave it to my mother. I'll be bringing my bamboo home with me.
I have collected a number of things over the years...some of which I have already taken home, only to be kept in boxes and occasionally pulled out to wax poetic on years from now.
I know in my mind that I should have left this job over 10 years ago...but it's still fucking with my head nonetheless.
And (don't laugh), all I keep thinking is after January 2005, I will have been eligible for 4 weeks vacation...and I wasted it. How convoluted is *that* thought?
